How to Navigate Feeding Challenges, Sleep Deprivation, and Overwhelm as a New Parent



Feeding Doesn’t Always Come Naturally (and That’s Okay)

There’s a common belief that breastfeeding is “natural” and should just happen. But the reality? Feeding often starts with frustration, pain, or confusion. You may be dealing with:

• A shallow latch, cracked nipples, or painful feedings
  
  
• Low milk supply—or oversupply that leads to engorgement and other issues that make feeding challenging
  
  
• Spit-up, reflux, or a fussy baby who seems uncomfortable
  
  
• Triple feeding (nurse, pump, bottle) and feeling like it’s a full-time job
  
  
• Guilt over supplementing or switching to formula
  
  

But the challenges don’t stop at breastfeeding. Many families I work with also struggle to feed their baby with a bottle.

Some babies have oral restrictions like tongue tie, lip tie, or high palate—all of which can make both breast and bottle feeding difficult. Others have tightness in their jaw, neck, or body that affects how they suck, latch, and swallow. These babies may have a weak suck, take in a lot of air during feeds, or struggle to maintain a seal on the bottle nipple.

Feeds can take a long time, involve a lot of crying or gas, and leave parents feeling helpless or frustrated. These physical challenges are not always obvious at first, but they can be addressed with the right support.

You’re not doing anything wrong if feeding feels harder than expected. These aren’t rare experiences—they’re common. And they’re hard, especially when you’re already sleep-deprived, hormonal, and adjusting to a completely new identity.

If you’re struggling to read your baby’s cues or build any kind of routine around feeding and sleeping, grab my free guide, Overwhelmed to Empowered: Understanding Your Baby’s Cues & Creating a Flexible Routine.   It’s a gentle, supportive place to start.

Feeding Challenges Can Shake Your Confidence

Feeding your baby is about more than nutrition—it’s about connection, self-worth, and how you define success in the early days of parenting.

I hear from so many new parents who feel like failures because they:

• Couldn’t stick to their nursing plan
  
  
• Are exhausted from night feedings and don’t know how to ask for help
  
  
• Feel judged online or by family for using formula
  
  
• Feel isolated doing it all alone while their partner returns to work
  
  

If this sounds familiar, please hear this: you are not failing. You are adapting. Parenting is about responding to your baby’s needs and your own—with flexibility, not perfection.

Feeding Struggles Impact Mental Health

Feeding struggles don’t just cause stress—they can become the center of postpartum anxiety or depression. When things aren’t going “right,” many parents spiral into thoughts like:

• “Why can’t I figure this out?”
  
  
• “I’m not cut out for this.”
  
  
• “Other moms make this look easy.”
  
  

And when sleep is broken and recovery is still in progress, it’s even harder to access perspective.

This is where your support system matters. Having people in your corner—whether a lactation professional, doula, or even just a friend who listens without judging—can be the difference between drowning and finding your way through.

You’re Allowed to Change Your Feeding Plan

Sometimes the feeding method you hoped for doesn’t match what’s working in reality, and that’s okay. It’s more than okay. It’s part of parenting.

• Maybe you planned to breastfeed exclusively, but your baby lost weight and needed formula.

• Maybe pumping is taking over your entire day, and your mental health is suffering.

• Maybe nursing is going well, but you need a break to rest and recover.

• Or maybe your baby is so sleepy that they fall asleep within minutes of nursing, every time—even after those early weeks when that sleepiness should be improving.

Feeding challenges can stem from a variety of things—like tongue ties, oral motor issues, or body tension—that make it hard for babies to latch, suck effectively, or stay awake at the breast. While bottle feeding isn’t a long-term solution, it can be a helpful bridge while you get support and protect your baby’s intake and your own well-being.

What many new parents don’t expect is how emotional this can be. When breastfeeding doesn’t go as planned, it can feel like a deep loss. I’ve been there. With my first child, breastfeeding was a struggle, and we switched to formula early on. With my second, we breastfed for nine months. Two very different experiences—yet both of my children are healthy, happy, and perfect in every way.

Your feeding journey doesn’t define your worth as a parent. You are not failing—you’re adapting. And that is the heart of good parenting.

As a postpartum doula, I always support parents' feeding goals, but I also want to permit them to shift their plan if they need to. All parents deserve to feel confident, supported, and cared for.

If bottle feeding becomes part of your journey, know that not every bottle works for every baby. I’ve curated a small list of pediatric OT and IBCLC-approved bottles that can help—especially for babies with latching or sucking challenges. The same goes for pacifiers: when chosen intentionally, they can help strengthen the muscles needed for feeding, not just soothe your baby.

That’s also why I offer gift registry consultations during pregnancy. Together, we can choose products and services that will truly support you after birth, so you feel prepared, not overwhelmed.

💛 Expecting a baby? Let’s build a registry that supports your postpartum journey and helps you feel calm, confident, and cared for from day one. Schedule a free 15-minute discovery call today.

Feeding + Sleep:They’re Deeply Connected

When feeding is hard, sleep is often disrupted. And when sleep is off, everything feels harder. Many families fall into survival mode, constantly feeding around the clock with no rhythm, no breaks, and no end in sight.

That’s why I encourage families to think about feeding and sleep together, not separately. A consistent, flexible rhythm (not a rigid schedule) can help babies regulate and help parents feel more confident day to day.

Not sure where to begin? My free guide, Overwhelmed to Empowered: Understanding Your Baby's Cues & Creating a Flexible Routine, can help you start decoding hunger cues, sleepiness signs, and figure out how to create a gentle routine that brings relief without pressure.

You Don’t Have to Do It All Alone

In many cultures, newborn parents are surrounded by help. In the U.S., most families are expected to do it all without rest, guidance, or real support.

This often leads to feelings of burnout, guilt, and resentment, especially for the parent doing the majority of feeds. But just because something is “normal” doesn’t mean it’s okay.

You are allowed to:

• Ask your partner or other support person to burp, change, and settle your baby after you feed them

• Ask your partner to take a bottle feed while you sleep

• Say yes to help with meals, chores, or caring for your other children
  
  
• Work with a postpartum doula, IBCLC, and/or sleep consultant to feel more supported
  
  
• Set boundaries with advice you don’t agree with
  
  

You don’t need to prove your strength by doing everything alone.

If you’re ready for support, I offer both in-home postpartum care in Western CT and virtual consultations that cover everything from feeding strategies to sleep transitions and emotional support.

Learn more at   www.westernctdoula.com.

Redefining “Success” in Feeding

Feeding success isn’t about exclusivity. It’s not about who did it “the longest.” And it’s definitely not about whose baby sleeps through the night first.

Feeding success is:

• Your baby being nourished and loved
  
  
• You feeling confident and emotionally supported
  
  
• Having realistic expectations and flexible plans
  
  
• Protecting your mental health and physical healing
  
  

Every drop of breastmilk is a gift. Every ounce of formula is love. Every feeding, no matter how it looks, is connection.

Your Next Step: Gentle Support for the Weeks Ahead

If feeding is a struggle right now—whether emotionally, physically, or logistically—I want you to know there are options. There’s support. And there is no shame in asking for it.

Whether you’re still pregnant and planning ahead or you’re already in the thick of those long nights and unpredictable days, I’m here to help you feel more grounded.

✨ Get my free guide: Overwhelmed to Empowered: Learning Your Baby’s Cues and Creating a Flexible Routine

✨ Explore my postpartum and sleep support at   www.westernctdoula.com

✨ Reach out if you’d like to work together in person or virtually. I’d be honored to walk with you.

You don’t need to wait for things to get harder. In addition to my support, I have a list of providers that I work closely with. Together, we can help you achieve your feeding goals. Let’s get you supported—right where you are.

With warmth,

Kristin 💛

Postpartum Doula & Pediatric Sleep Consultant

www.westernctdoula.com